Sunday, November 19, 2006

Cut Practisitis - an epidemic among indian docs

This epidemic is spreading fast, gripping hundreds of new docs everyday. In this disorder, a simple thank you does not suffice. There is a need to show gratitude with an envelope filled with cash.

A specialist affected with this ailment, will give/receive a cut from the following people -
  1. The GP's cut - First he will go hunting around for every general practitioner he can find. He will beg them to send him patients. When the GP does send him one, He will pay him a cut of up to 40% of his fees. If he falters, no more patients for him.

  2. The Pharmacist's cut - He will convince the patient to buy medicines from a particular pharmacy. He will praise that pharmacy so much, the poor patient will think that all other drug stores are selling water and sugar tablets in the name of medicine. In return he will get a fat cut.
  3. The Radiologists cut - 'can I get this sonography done at another place ?' just try and ask him that question. He will look at you as though you have just murdered someone. Of course the real reason is a fat cut.
  4. The Pathologist's cut - Don't get the investigations, he has asked for, done at another lab (other than the one specified by him). In all probability he will throw the reports out of the window and ask you to get them repeated. Any guesses why ?

  5. The Peon's cut - As soon as he enters the hospital, he will start shelling out cash to the peon, watchman, lift man, ward boy & anybody else he can find. Why ? so that when the right patient walks in, he is immediately sent to him.
These are just a few basic cuts. There are many more, with newer ones coming up all the time.
Ironically, this is a much sought after disorder. Everyone wants it. This is because it offers protection from another disorder, a disorder called poverty !

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